testing

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no. 19: rent-a-cat

Mouse traps only solve part of the problem. A sticky one immobilizes the mouse, leaving the mouse trap operator to kill or free the mouse. A spring one forces the operator to dispose of the intruder. A cat takes care of both parts of the problem.

A Better Mouse Trap: Rent a cat by the day or week, until the mouse problem seems to be taken care of. Cat comes with litter, bed, scratching post, food, shots, and anything else that goes into caring for a feline. At the end of rental contract, there is an option to buy the cat.

no. 18: have everyone watch this dog

He's falling asleep in the cutest possible way. At the Golden Gate Kennel Show at the Cow Palace on 29 January 2006. This dog was really tired, and kept dozing off... Watch it on Google Video, also...

no. 17: save verizon callers' time

Every time you leave a message for a Verizon mobile phone customer, their personal greeting is followed by an audio track letting you know to wait for the beep, but if you want more options, press 0, and to leave an alphanumeric page, press 1. Verizon has about 50mm customers (source: nytimes); assuming half of them get a message a day, with each person leaving a message having to sit through this 10-second recording, we're looking at about 65 thousand wasted hours a day. All this, I'm sure, for two options that get less than .05% acceptance rate. That's a lot of anytime minutes.
So, Verizon (and I'm assuming other cell companies as well): I understand this is 65k billable hours for you, but I imagine the bulk of it is during the free portions of the day. Perhaps it would be better to stop using it...

no. 16: ballers

Jay-Z was part of the investment group that purchased the New Jersey Nets, and they plan to move them to Brooklyn. There, they should rename themselves the Brooklyn Ballers, and sell what will inevitably become the most popular jerseys in history...

no. 15: wow. make something to prevent this...

Girl gets bird flu after kissing chicken

Sumeyya Mamuk considered the chickens in her backyard to be beloved pets. The 8-year-old girl fed them, petted them and took care of them. When they started to get sick and die, she hugged them and tenderly kissed them goodbye. The next morning, her face and eyes were swollen and she had a high fever. Her father took her to a hospital, and five days later she was confirmed to have the deadly H5N1 strain of bird flu.

no. 14: fool the cabbie

Straight from the illuminous Hunter, on his wonderful Elapsed Time blog:

here's something i think we can use. A fake spouse/family member you can hire to wave goodbye as the cab comes to take you to the airport. For those of us who are convinced that the cabbie is coming back to rob our house since they know we're gone.